Okay girls, you knew this was coming. My last post inspired a Team Vagina following, so this post is dedicated to girl’s best friend: The Vagina
Our vaginas are unsung heroes. They live in dark damp conditions, we keep shoving cold hard gynaecological instruments inside them and give them no thanks when they produce a clean pap smear. We sometimes introduce them to partners who have no idea how to treat them well and every so often we force them to push out tiny human beings.
We are not kind to our vaginas and yet they keep on taking a beating without so much as a word of complaint.
You said it, sister!!
So today I am celebrating our vaginas.
First we need a mascot. Isn’t she just too cute? There just couldn’t be another mascot could there?
Don’t you just wanna stroke it?
There’s also a delightful activity book for all vagina lovers. Yes ladies, you can now buy The Big Colouring Book of Vaginas. I kid you not!!
So what colour would yours be?
And check out the reviews:
“I got this book for my wife, and I wasn’t sure how she would respond. To my surprise she has been colouring it happily. She loves it.” Written by Christian Grey
“I really wanna stress how much I long every day to go home and pull out my crayon and start rubbing away on this book. I wish I knew what vaginas look like in real life because I think I’m getting my colours wrong.” Written by Ana Steele
And it’s interactive too. You get quizzes and everything.
Well here are my answers:
My vagina looks like … a magician’s assistant. Has sparkly wands shoved in it but all the credit goes to someone else. Or … check out the cute mascot.
My vagina smells like … okay, I’m not joking about that one… it smells like coconut shower cream
I call my vagina a …. Vagina!!! I am not Ana Steele.
I think my vagina is great … because it’s always ready and able (if slightly unwilling) to participate in my daily whims for it.
A special treat for my vagina … is not having a sparkly wand inside it.
My vagina likes … not sparkly wandy things.
If my vagina could talk it would sound like … after reading Jen’s post, I am convinced it would sound like Golden Girls’ Blanche.
So grab yourself a badge and proclaim loud and proud: Team Vagina.
And yes WordPress, fingers up to you. We love our Vaginas, we blog about our Vaginas and we make no apologies for it. Press This! I dare you!
(I am now completely blocking out the knowledge that my Old Man has recently discovered my blog. LALALALALALALA – I’m not thinking about it, it’s not happening. And dear old Dad if you are reading this, I did warn you that my blog was me: unedited. We don’t talk about it, we don’t mention it. This never happened!)
Related articles
- 101 Vagina – The Taboo Smashing Coffee Table Book; Crowd-funding Campaign Launched (prweb.com)
- Three Things You Didn’t Know About The Vagina (drdeblaino.com)
- Talking ’bout Vagina (clitorati.wordpress.com)
- The Perfect Vagina? (aarhusblog.com)
Hahahahaha. Of course I had to click the link to see if this was real. Just – wow. I can’t think of anyone else who would love this but Christian and Ana. And then I looked at the comments and realized they were parts of real comments and I laughed some more, got scared for a minute, then laughed again. Go, vagina!
P.S. Next time I mention Ana’s coloring, I will have to post a pic of this. Lol.
I read the reviews and there it was – a Christian Grey comment, it could not have been from anyone else.
This would be the perfect colouring book for Ana – I bet she gives it to her kids.
Someone in the reviews mentioned giving it to kids. WTF. Yup, Ana would consider it totally appropriate! Also a buttplug for a teether. OMG, I just grossed myself out.
That’s it, I am never babysitting for the Greys.
Little Grey: Hey, want to play in my playroom?
Friend: Sure!
5 minutes later . . . friend runs screaming out the door.
Little Grey: What, I only showed her my rubber dolly
I can see Christian hiring friends for his children (cause who would willingly do it?) plus he could totally control their every move that way.
There isn’t enough money in the world to let my kid anywhere near that house even without the butt plugs
Did we ever say we were anti-vagina at WordPress? We’re staunch vagina advocates.
That’s good because my vagina makes a frequent appearance on my blog. I wouldn’t want to be kicked off WordPress
In fact, many of us at WordPress.com are vagina-owners ourselves.
That’s good to know. Go Team!!
Hahahaa! I can’t stop laughing!
That is the most adorable mascot! Proud to be Team Vagina!
As soon as I saw that picture, I knew. This is my vagina mascot.
Reblogged this on Miss Four Eyes and commented:
Proud to be Team Vagina!
I’m in!! Wittle pussy tat…hey I have a pic for you…you’ll love it. (NO, its not that…how can I send it…?? here’s a link – and its like a night light that looks like the virgin mary/vagina. fo reels. http://www.adme.ru/kreativnyj-obzor/globalnyj-brend-pussy-riot-436155/ – ya got to scroll a little bit – and I didn’t mean to get political…its just where this pic came from that I snagged from someone’s face book! enjoy.
That pic is awesome!!!
did you see it??? How perfect is THAT??? hahahahahha!!
Okay, you are going to have to tell me what Ana Steele names her vagina. I wish this would get pressed!
She calls it her “down there” like a 12 year old girl. Or an embarrassed husband at the gynaecologist
Reason 101 why I am thanking myself for never reading that book.
Oh good, My amazon wishlist was looking pretty bare. Now I have something to add. Do you color it with your vagina?
I wish I’d thought of that. So much better than crayons
[...] I am meeting a girlfriend for lunch today. I work tomorrow, clean, work again, have a date, am driving daughter to and from school. Nothing is tipping the balance to ‘bad’. In the past, I have been known to do that. I don’t feel it now. I am healthy, I am awake. I am Team Vagina!!! [...]
I NEED that coloring book.
It should be compulsory for women everywhere.
You’ve left me speechless. Which is probably the best way to respond to this post, lest my comment come back and haunt me years down the road…
Oooh speechless – that’s got to be a new one
Just so you know, your secrets are safe with me 
You and the small, close-knit Internet community…
Yes – nobody’s heard of us
This is so funny…good to know there’s a website promoting women to be more comfortable discussing their vaginas!
I love the mascot. I mean really, was there any other option?
I fell in love with that as soon as I saw it. Just too perfect
Oh man – I’m becoming Team Vagina Right Meow! (See? Incorporating our mascot’s lingo!)
My vagina is named: Va-jay-jay. Because ever since I saw the “Grey’s Anatomy” episode where Bailey told George not to look at her va-jay-jay, I’ve loved that name ^.^
Va jay jay is acceptable, especially as you have such a good reason
As long as you don’t call it your “down there,” – that would disqualify you from Team Vagina 
What about, “down under”?
As in Australia? Coz it has a bush? It’s negotiable
Negotiable is good ^.^
We don’t have to wonder what the coloring book centerfold looks like . . .
And imagine the fun you can have colouring it in
lol!
Daan van den Bergh liked your post so much, his wife made clay vaginae! You can see them here: http://www.ifkknrokk.com/rants/1010/team-vagina
So we have clay and colouring books. What other children’s toys can we use for our filthy amusements??
My vagina just gave you a high five…which is kind of weird.
As long as you washed your hands …
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