Okay girls, you knew this was coming. My last post inspired a Team Vagina following, so this post is dedicated to girl’s best friend: The Vagina
Our vaginas are unsung heroes. They live in dark damp conditions, we keep shoving cold hard gynaecological instruments inside them and give them no thanks when they produce a clean pap smear. We sometimes introduce them to partners who have no idea how to treat them well and every so often we force them to push out tiny human beings.
We are not kind to our vaginas and yet they keep on taking a beating without so much as a word of complaint.
So today I am celebrating our vaginas.
First we need a mascot. Isn’t she just too cute? There just couldn’t be another mascot could there?
There’s also a delightful activity book for all vagina lovers. Yes ladies, you can now buy The Big Colouring Book of Vaginas. I kid you not!!
And check out the reviews:
“I got this book for my wife, and I wasn’t sure how she would respond. To my surprise she has been colouring it happily. She loves it.” Written by Christian Grey
“I really wanna stress how much I long every day to go home and pull out my crayon and start rubbing away on this book. I wish I knew what vaginas look like in real life because I think I’m getting my colours wrong.” Written by Ana Steele
And it’s interactive too. You get quizzes and everything.
Well here are my answers:
My vagina looks like … a magician’s assistant. Has sparkly wands shoved in it but all the credit goes to someone else. Or … check out the cute mascot.
My vagina smells like … okay, I’m not joking about that one… it smells like coconut shower cream
I call my vagina a …. Vagina!!! I am not Ana Steele.
I think my vagina is great … because it’s always ready and able (if slightly unwilling) to participate in my daily whims for it.
A special treat for my vagina … is not having a sparkly wand inside it.
My vagina likes … not sparkly wandy things.
If my vagina could talk it would sound like … after reading Jen’s post, I am convinced it would sound like Golden Girls’ Blanche.
So grab yourself a badge and proclaim loud and proud: Team Vagina.
And yes WordPress, fingers up to you. We love our Vaginas, we blog about our Vaginas and we make no apologies for it. Press This! I dare you!
(I am now completely blocking out the knowledge that my Old Man has recently discovered my blog. LALALALALALALA – I’m not thinking about it, it’s not happening. And dear old Dad if you are reading this, I did warn you that my blog was me: unedited. We don’t talk about it, we don’t mention it. This never happened!)
- 101 Vagina – The Taboo Smashing Coffee Table Book; Crowd-funding Campaign Launched (prweb.com)
- Three Things You Didn’t Know About The Vagina (drdeblaino.com)
- Talking ’bout Vagina (clitorati.wordpress.com)
- The Perfect Vagina? (aarhusblog.com)